Oh Hey, I Love You!
by RomaTheKid
Summary: Lovino Vargas is working at a law firm trying to battle his way to top lawyer by graduating and beating the best know Lawyer out there Gilbert Beilschmidt. I suck at summaries! Please read it! ummm...There's a little spamano but mostly purmano and Fruk with a bunch of other parings so enjoy?


"I've got to stop ordering take-out; I'm going to have a damn heart attack!" Lovino mumbled to himself while on his way back home from a small Chinese restaurant a few blocks away.

_Once I start my new job I'll be better off. I blame my stupid brother for getting me fucking fired. It's total bullshit; he's the one who always asked me how the fucking copier worked! I could never get anything fucking done! Sure it's some crappy filing job at a law firm but hey it pays better than unemployment. My life can't get any worse from here on out at least. _

As if on cue the short Italian was pulled into one of the numerous alleyways that lined the streets in downtown East Greenwich. His back hit the brick wall and a man was gripping his long tan trench coat.

"I really did catch a cute one tonight. So are you going to tell me your name or just scream for help?" The stranger asked in a deep voice. Lovino's eyes widened as he mentally cursed god for doing this to him. He figured yelling wouldn't do any good no one would come and help, just last week this same thing happened and when the police came it was just a couple role playing a rape. If he would call out now everyone would think he was the boy who cried wolf. "Well what's it gonna be?"

"Well if I yell you would either gag me and/or kill me so fuck it, it's Lovino." The brunette turned his head to the left looking out at the road trying to be hopeful and catch someone walking by. _God just gave up on me didn't he? Thanks a lot buddy._

"Haha you're a little smart ass you know that? Anyway it was the right choice _Lovino_, now let's begin the show. Oh by the way you can call out Ben when you come." This Ben character proceed to smash their lips together in a fiery, needy kiss whilst unbuckling Lovino's pants.

Lovino squirmed to no end just because he knew screaming wouldn't do anything his pride would never let him just accept this. The Italian fought and fought and when his mouth was released from this disgusting mans he yelled, "Stop dammit! Stop!"

"Aww I thought we were having fun! Well too late now pumpkin." Ben was not kissing trials down Lovino's neck and pumping him slowly to hardness. Suddenly Ben was tapped on the shoulder. Turning around but still pinning Lovino to the wall he saw a man with snow white hair and blood red eyes.

"Umm hallo…I was just passing through and heard that guy-"the newcomer point towards Lovino, "screaming stop. So being the ever awesome helpful me I came to ask if you two know each other and had the same idea as that horny couple the police arrested last Sunday or this is really rape?"

"Uhhh no I know him, right sweetie tell the man you were just horny and like it when I do this to you." Lovino gulped loudly, what was he supposed to do, tell the new frightening stranger that he is getting raped and then have Ben here beat the crap out of both of us or go through with it and get fucking raped!

Ben wasn't looking at Lovino so the Italian deiced to do something he saw in a movie once. "Yeah I know him, my boyfriend, Ben." As he said this he was shaking his head no wondering if this mysterious guy would get the hint.

"Oh alright then, I'll leave you guys to it." _Oh my fucking god you dumbass! Now I'm going to be fucked and then thrown into a ditch! Damn couldn't someone smart have saved me!_ Ben turned back around ready to get into Lovino's pants as he did this the albino locked eyes with Lovino and winked. Lovino scrunched up his face in confusion thinking this guy was trying to hit on him. _For fucks sake of all the times now is when men start to notice me! _"But one more thing…"

"Look man just leave alr-"The moment Ben turned around a swift punch connected with his jaw, he stumbled onto the asphalt.

"Come on lets go." The albino said to Lovino who was staring on shock at the poor excuse for a man lying on the ground clutching his jaw. Lovino's savor started to walk away. "You coming?"

"Y-yeah, wait up!" He ran after him while fixing his pants and coat so he looked normal again. "Umm thank you…uhhh…?"

"Gilbert, Gilbert Beilschmidt at your service!" Gilbert held out his hand for Lovino to shake. "And you are?"

Lovino shook his hand not wanting to be rude, "Lovino Vargas, thanks for saving me back there." He said letting go of Gilbert's hand and scratching the back of his head. "Oh shit!"

"What?"

"I dropped my fucking dinner! Now I have nothing to eat," Lovino looked up towards the dark night sky, "You really really don't like me do you?"

When Lovino stopped walking so had Gilbert, he just started at the strange little man talking to the sky. "Kesesesese who you talking to Lovino" Gilbert looked up as well as said, "Hallo Lovino's fiend! Kesesesesese anyway…if you don't have anything to eat you wanna come to my place I can make you something if you want?"

"N-no I'm good I'll wait until tomorrow I'll bum so money from my brother." Lovino continued to walk back home the albino man still following him.

"Come on just some dinner then I'll drive you home, my car is right up here." Gilbert pointed to a silver Ascari A10. "Pretty nice isn't it?"

Lovino looked over the car and knew what it was; his friend Matthew has a brother who rambles on about cars whenever you're in the American's vicinity. "Either you're very rich, stole this, or you're borrowing this from your very rich friend to impress girls. Which one is it?"

"Kesesesese The first one, the awesome me has tons of awesome money! Wait are you saying you really don't know who I am?!"

"What do you mean you told me your name Gilbert, so you're Gilbert…Stop fucking looking at me like that! Fucking hell!"

"I'm the famous lawyer, Gilbert Beilschmidt! Come on, I'm in the papers, on the news!" Lovino was confused you could see it written all over his face. Soon understanding was sinking into his thick skull and his eyes became wide.

"Oh Shit, no fucking way!"

"Ahh there it is. So you ready to come with the awesome me?" Lovino grumbled to himself about getting rescued by a fucking douchbag but he got into the car anyway not wanting to turn down free food. He's heard of the guy from other friends never bothered to watch the news so he never actually knew what the guy looked like, just knew that his methods are unorthodox to say the least. Won almost every single case he's had, Lovino didn't like him, the way he went about things in the court house pissed him off. Lovino liked the order and procedures the court made, he would always know what to do. When Lovino decided to become a lawyer he hoped that at least one case would be against Beilschmidt just so he would be able to tell everyone he beat the mighty Gilbert Beilschmidt.

Soon collage would be over and he could climb the ladder at his new office, filing is just the beginning at this law firm he will soon be someone who can top the albino sitting next to him.

* * *

**A/N: ****Ok sooo new story! I was trying to fall asleep and I had just finished watching the office and I thought about all the Hetalia characters in a fucking office...just imagine the possibilities! So this is what came out of my mind...sorry about almost getting you raped Lovi~ but I just had to! Ummm if you're wondering about the guy Ben and why I didn't make it a Russia or something it's because I was reading this book "The knife if never letting go" and Ben was one of the main characters, whom the author killed off half way through the book! Don't you just hate it when you're reading a really good book and you love all the characters but them the author fucking kills like 10 of them! Hahaha good fucking book I suggest you all read it. P.S it'll make you cry…**


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